Posts filed under: ‘holidays‘




Happy New Year: No Resolutions For Me, Thanks.


[resolution revolution]

Image by RHiNO NEAL via Flickr

In 2010, I quit smoking, lost 20 lbs, gave up shitty men, and got rid of toxic relationships (well, as many as I could). I did every one of those things without first declaring, on New Year’s Eve, to resolve any of those issues.

In fact, many of those things took very little effort accept forethought. For instance, my finances got very tight in the spring, I was looking for ways to cut back expenses. First on the chopping block? Cigarettes and junk food. I tried to go back to smoking when my finances got a bit better, but found it took me two weeks to smoke two packs of ciggies (yes, two weeks!). That was all I needed, to be certain that I was ready to quit for good. Granted, I may light up some day in the future, but I usually only stress about cigarettes when I want to do something self-destructive and that is the only former vice I have that doesn’t require me to involve another person, per se (such as running to the club and sleeping with the first man who winks at me). The urge to smoke usually passes after I sleep on it for 24 hours.

Giving up junk food essentially helped me lower my caloric intake. Trust, I didn’t work out or do anything special other than quit eating. Plus, since I didn’t work an outside job most of the year, I didn’t eat a lot of take out, either. I still indulge a chocolate compulsion or a taste for something salty, but I no longer keep junk or soda around the house and I don’t go out of my way to eat take out unless someone else is paying or unless it’s been a long day and I won’t be home anytime soon. In any case, I’m somewhat proud to state that I am now two pants sizes smaller than I was in 2009 and I own blue jeans that don’t have an elastic waistband and they don’t look like “mom jeans”.

Giving up shitty men was a no-brainer. I got tired of being treated like shit, so I gave up the men that were causing me to feel like that. End of story.

Giving up toxic relationships was a little harder, but I still did it. Sadly, some of those relationships were with family and some of those relationships were with people who were long time friends, but it was time to make a change and add more positivity to my life, that meant the negativity had to go.

All that and not one single resolution made in, well, EVER. I don’t make resolutions. As far as I am concerned, January 1st is just another day on the calendar, like Boss’ Day or President’s Day. New Year’s Eve is great for a party because everyone is celebrating, but otherwise, this date holds no special significance.

I know too many people who purposely wait until the beginning of every year to make the changes that they need to make RIGHT NOW. That makes absolutely no sense to me. If you need to make change, there’s no time like the present. Obviously, there are some exceptions to every rule, but why wait until the new year to fix old troubles?

Sure, there are a couple of things I would like to see happen for me in 2011, but otherwise, I don’t have a list of resolutions. Truthfully, most of the changes I wish to see in 2011 are not things that are in my actual control, such as “meeting a nice guy and settling into a pleasant relationship (or meeting a couple of nice guys and settling into a pleasant polyamorous relationship): I’ll take either/or. I wouldn’t mind “finding and keeping a decent job and being able to pay my bills with cash to spare for fun things for my family”. I also wouldn’t mind “having enough money to take care of my vehicle issues and buy my kids clothes, etc without always having to resort to the kindness of friends and strangers”. I am already doing everything that I can do to help these things along, unfortunately,they require the “help” of others (actually meeting a nice guy -or two AND who actually wants a real relationship with me, actually getting hired, and actually getting a decent income…).

Otherwise, in the new year, I’m going to keep it moving (like I’ve been doing) and I’m going to keep doing me (cuz that’s all I can do).

Happy New Year! I hope 2011 is far better than the last.

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Add a comment December 31, 2010

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