Posts filed under: ‘business‘

Too Much Time On My Hands To Think

Laundry is hung to dry above an Italian street.

Image via Wikipedia

I have always used the task of doing laundry as the place and space in which I think about and work out issues that concern me.

I might fret about my kids or about my (then) husband, or map out a plan for one of my many (semi) successful businesses.

Laundry is a chore many people dread, but I look forward to it. Now that I work at a laundromat and one of my tasks is washing and folding laundry, I have a lot of time on my hands to think.

One thing that occurred to me is that I really do not want to be in a serious relationship, right now.

Despite moaning a few weeks ago about not having a sex life. I realized that the longer I go without it, the less I miss it. I don’t have anyone around me reminding me of that fact, so there is no pressure in my life to “put out” at this time and I’m not looking to “get any” either.

I used to be part of an interracial dating group (black women who endorse the dating of men outside the black community) but there was far too much focus on marriage. I’m down with supporting women who want that, but I’m not down with the idea of marriage myself. Getting bombarded with that message day in and day out was making me agitated, so I disconnected from that group.

I have zero intention of ever getting married, again. I learned my lesson well, the first time. In my thinking time I realized that I really don’t care whether other people can appreciate my thinking on the matter or not (many will encourage me not to let my bad marital experience discourage me from trying it again). The way I see it, dating is a cheap way of finding out if a person is right for you. Marriage is a very expensive way to find out that a person is all wrong for you. The main reason many people marry is for religious reasons. Since I am not religious, marriage is not a personal imperative and since I don’t wish to go through the financial turmoil of another divorce, marriage is off the table (unless it’s for insurance purposes; can’t get health insurance unless married and even THAT is a stretch). But, I am still very open to finding a long-term dating companion who sees the marriage question in the same light as I do.

I get very annoyed at people who try to tell others (particularly, single girls like me) that they MUST do several things in order to catch a mate. Never mind all the advice is superficial and likely things that require expensive upkeep and may not be an option for everyone. Such as suggesting that black women with locs or twists put their hair in a wig to trick attract a man. Or suggesting that she wear make-up, even if she doesn’t normally.

Maybe it’s my 40 years of life or 25 years of dating, but trying to lure attract a man by changing superficial things about you might get you a date, but if you want to keep the man, you’ll have to continue with the games facade if you want to keep him. One thing I have learned, without a doubt, men do not like when you flip the script from the woman they fell for. In fact, the quickest way to turn a man off (besides your tears) is to come off as Ms.Weezy when you’ve been playing Beyonce for awhile.

I’ve tried to pull off Beyonce and I was successful, until I got tired of that role and wanted to be seen for the real woman I am. When I tried to play the “love me or leave me” card, they all left…some trying to come back occasionally trying to play like maybe they did have feelings when it was obvious they were no longer interested since they knew there really was no Beyonce underneath the mask. I realized that, although playing dress up is fun, playing dress up all day every day to keep a man (who turns out, ain’t worth it) can be a lot of work and a lot of times it just ain’t worth it. I’m trying to attract someone real, someone sincere, so it behooves me to be someone real, someone sincere (and save the dress up for very special occasions).

Last night, I even tried to convince myself that maybe I was just fighting against the tide. I went and played dress up with my wigs and was not pleased with the results. The wigs themselves are in excellent condition, but the woman underneath just wasn’t feeling it. I looked great in a couple of them, but as I looked at myself, I knew that I couldn’t take myself seriously. That was a sign to me that I am done with that phase of my life. I spent the rest of the evening working on head-scarf wrapping techniques. Those looks I can work with.

On the other hand, I’m not here to police how or why other people do things, only myself, so if playing dress-up is how you get your kicks, then more power to you. Just stay out of my kool-aid and telling me how to mix it. Thanks.

I am not every woman. I am only me. I may be identified by my skin color, or age, my marital status or my children, but it doesn’t define who I truly am. Truthfully, I don’t need to be defined. This is me. You’re welcome.

That’s enough rambling for one day.

We’ll do this again, soon.


Add a comment January 14, 2011

First Job Interview In Six Months

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Image by Sighthound via Flickr

And I’m kind of nervous.

I should be in bed, right now. But, I’m still feeling a little high strung.

I have been putting in applications and resumes since last December. I have had very few interviews of any kind and the most recent was in June of this year.

This is actually for a job that I have had my eye on for quite some time, even before I knew that they were hiring because it fits many of my family related criteria as well as my professional skill set, including being very close to home, 12 hours a day available to work, 7 days a week, so I won’t be pigeoned into regular 9-5 hours (for instance) so that will make it easier to juggle homeschooling my young’uns. The job involves customer service, attention to detail, and organizational skills. I am familiar with how the business works, as a visitor/customer and I have met and chatted with the owner in a social context and he seemed like a nice enough guy. It is just one of those jobs that I looked and said, “I wouldn’t mind doing this, if given the opportunity.” I just never knew there was an opportunity, until recently.

A friend of mine works there (we might there and became fast friends) and she and her fiance’ just got a new job in Utah and she will be moving in less than two weeks and that means there is a job opening at this location. She told me that she would and kept her word by giving me a good reference to her boss and he called me, today, to ask me if I would be interested in filling out an application and interviewing for the job! This is THE best lead I have had all year. Even if I don’t get the job, I’ll be forever grateful for the interview hook-up.

I can’t really say, at this point, whether I have a good or bad feeling about this. This also meets with another important criteria that I have of working for a mom & pop location versus a conglomerate. These days, big businesses have taken to using the internet to filter out undesirably candidates rather than taking the old-school route and actually encouraging potential employees to come to the store and fill out an application and meet a real live person. That’s how things worked back in the day and that is why I never had any trouble finding work in the 80s and 90s. Employers loved my great personality, sunny disposition and my clean look. I never had any doubt that getting face to face with the right manager/employer would guarantee me a job. Nowadays you are competing against a gazillion megabytes of data stacked against you and it’s unlikely a human will ever actually see your application or resume much less your face.

I actually could have been hired on my last interview, 6 months ago, but at the time I had scheduling conflicts that affected my hiring and thus, lost out on that job. Taking note of all of this, I can say that talking to THE owner of the business, having met and had pleasant conversation with him in the past, AND having a glowing recommendation from a current employee, plus my resume, I think I could have this job in the bag. BUT…I’m not getting my hopes up. It’s just that I do feel more confident than I have in a long time.

I’ll post more details in the next few days.

Add a comment December 29, 2010

Charting A New Course

Drawing a map of Port-au-Prince

Image by digital.democracy via Flickr

It doesn’t really seem to matter how old I get, deep down, I still feel like that starry-eyed teenager I was 21 years ago.

I still fret about my looks, even though there is nothing much that I can do about them.

I still fret about my friends, even though I know that I should let many of them go.

I still fret about my career(s), as that changes almost as often as the cover of your average tabloid.

In this economy, I have found it impossible to find work of any substance. I have submitted hundreds of applications, resumes and have submitted to dozens of job interviews, since December 2009, with not a bit of luck.  Thankfully, child support from the The Ex has kept me and the children off of welfare, but only because the state will not qualify us for food stamps or any other government support due to the child support.  We still live in poverty. The child support barely covers the rent and thanks to being laid off, last April, I have yet to be able to pull in the monies I am supposed to be drawing in order to cover my end of the child support (convoluted CO formula). In any case, I need a job, but can’t find one and so I have and am trying every avenue that I can to make that happen.

Karaoke was the job I had always dreamed about in my youth. I could sing for my supper and still be at home, every night, and be mom to my kids.  But, the divorce and then getting laid off soon after that, took the rug out from under me, particularly since the karaoke business is just as cut-throat as any other show business and if you aren’t first, you are definitely last.  I tried, throughout the summer, to find an in to many of the local bars close to home, but there were no takers.  Attempts to team up with another business, recently, proved to be just as disappointing.

I was kind of beginning to lose hope about how I was going to find a way to make money in this down economy with no skills anybody is interested in, and no job to list that isn’t more than a decade old (daughters, I don’t care what your hubby tells you: if you quit your job to take care of your kids, you will have a very difficult time getting back into the work force without super powers or super friends or super connections. Sadly, I have neither).

I even kind of let myself believe that some knight in shining armor was going to save me (like he said he would). Only, when it came time to cash the check, the knight was nowhere to be found and the check, essentially, bounced. Of course, when the knight needed his armor shined, he had no trouble finding me; but that’s a story for another blog.

So, in the interest of finding something worthwhile, that maybe I can make money at, I decided to try my hand at crochet. It turns out, I’m not too bad. So, I’m starting a new business (using as many free resources as I can) on the internet, connecting with as many family and friends as I can, and trying to get this business going, if only to pay my bills for a few months, but with the intent of actually maintain a thriving and going concern.

I feel just like I did when I started my karaoke business.  It took several months to get off the ground, but once I got it moving, I was making good money. I’m nervous, but confident that I can do the same with my crochet business.

Of course, I’m now fretting about whether or not people will really like my products and fretting about how much money I can actually make.  I know I won’t make out like Martha Stewart, but if I can make out like a successful panhandler (a couple hundred a week or a few hundred a month), then I’ll consider myself a success.

I wish my love life was as hopeful as my newest business venture…

Add a comment November 28, 2010

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